@iscoff: It's illegal to shine a laser pointer at a plane because a cat might attack the plane
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@markydoodoo: DAVID BLAINE: *cracks open egg, butterfly flies out* ME: cmon man DB: *cracks open 2nd egg, 9 of clubs pops out* ME: I'm so hungry, David
@Karate_Horse: [loud speaker] "Hi shoppers I see a lot of confused guys with mustaches. we've moved the Hawaiian shirt section next to the pleated jorts"