@KalvinMacleod: It's important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
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@Sean_Burgundy_: Friend: Do I need to repeat myself? Me: No. I might not be able to ignore you a second time
@natalie2111: Have you ever listened to someone talk for a while and started to wonder "who ties your shoelaces for you?"
@LookAwayMomDad: I paid $200,000 for an English degree and my coworker just asked me to proofread her Facebook status.
@jazmasta: I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please. "Sir, that is a sleeping bag" *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*