@WilliamRodgers: It's impossible for TWO dudes to ride ONE motorcycle without it looking romantic...
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@wendchymes: * kids arguing loudly about which one of them is my favorite * - dog & I exchange knowing glances and wink as I slip him another treat
@VerifiedJayy: According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn't what I thought it was
@elle91: I thought the CVS guy was going to ask me to join the rewards program but he said "enjoy your night" so I said "not today, thanks" and left.
@jwoodham: The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven't worked out all the bugs yet.