@WilliamRodgers: It's impossible for TWO dudes to ride ONE motorcycle without it looking romantic...
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@Brianhopecomedy: A person followed me and then unfollowed me within 3 minutes. How can they judge me after only seeing 47 tweets?
@bitterADDitude: Hair in bun=housework Hair in ponytail=oral sex Body language is important-So he doesn't get excited when I'm about to 2 scrub the toilet
@SamSykesSwears: "If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump." "Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."
@RandomAntics: He who fights with lobsters must take care not to become a lobster. For when you gaze long into the bisque, the bisque also gazes into you.