@TheAlexNevil: It's kind of annoying that my wife said something about glistening but when I asked her to repeat it she just got mad.
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@Petote: BF went to text me "almost there" It came out "almost dead" So hungover, I wrote back "thank god" And now he arrived and things are awkward
@iwearaonesie: *wife spends all morning convincing son not to be afraid of the dentist* "Dad are you coming too?" Hell no dentists scare the shit out of me
@topaz_kell: To the person who honked to get me out of my parking space faster, thank you for inspiring me to delete 3000 emails right here, right now.