@INeed_AnAdult: It's kinda like i'm a shopaholic but with alcohol instead of clothes.
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@vineyille: FBI: I can’t unlock my phone Genius: is that a fake mustache over your mustache? FBI into earpiece: Operation Twostache has been compromised
@abbycohenwl: -Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!
@bazecraze: It's only been a few days, but I'm starting to forget everything I knew about Mitch Romley.
@McGunnersite: I'm giving up alcohol for a month. Wait sorry, that didn't come out right : I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month.