@INeed_AnAdult: It's kinda like i'm a shopaholic but with alcohol instead of clothes.
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@Mostly_Cheese: *arrives in Las Vegas for first time at age 36* Me: (in taxi on the Strip) Oh hell yes there’s a Walgreens AND a CVS next to my hotel.
@Rollinintheseat: *spelling bee* "Your word is disaster." "Can you use it in a sentence?" "That outfit you're wearing looks like a natural disaster."
@Tommytoughstuff: "Not all guys wearing Flannel shirts are Lumberjacks." *hits tree with axe* " Take me for example. I just hate trees."