@scorpicpanda: It's like Grandma used to say, "All men are hilarious, until you marry one."
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@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: I really like you ME: I like you too HER: So did you bring protection? ME: *gesturing to my bodyguard* Yeah, this is Tony
@lovemydogduck: I wonder how many calories you burn locking yourself out and having to climb in through a second story window.??