@paulrobalino: It's like my dad always said: "Stop quoting me and come up with your own ideas."
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@MaiPareshaan: This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that "it stays in your system forever," so I swallowed a table to stick it under it.
@Dildo_Hitler: *sees Arnold Schwarzenegger working at Walmart* "hey Arnold, kitchen appliances are toward the back of aisle B right?" "YES. AISLE B, BACK"
@turtledumplin: 8yo: mommy how old are you? Me: 46 8yo: *blink blink* so you seen a real dinosaur?
@KalvinMacleod: BABY BOSS: we need to talk about your work ethic ME: *covers face with hands* BABY BOSS: oh guess he's out for lunch. I'll talk to him later