@sageboggs: It's like my father always used to say, "[years of silent disappointment]"
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@TheBigBatman: Last year for Christmas I got a sweater, this year I am hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
@WheelTod: [Antarctic Courtroom] Polar Bear: “You hated your wife didn't you, Pingu!” Walrus Judge: “Careful Mr Prosecutor. You’re on very thin ice” Polar Bear: “Your honor, permission to approach the bench” Walrus: “No. I...” *Polar Bear takes step forward, plunges through melting ice
@TheRolo: Not to brag, but a news anchor started following me today. She recognizes a disaster when she sees one.