@Darlainky: It's like my whole life is just one horrendous karaoke song choice after another.
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@Coolisiana: (Date) "What's wrong?" Oh nothing I'm just a nervous hummer "Aw how cute!!" *perfectly hums the entire Jurassic Park theme at full volume*
@nursemella: I told you to pick up a slow cooker... All I see when I look in the kitchen is a turtle wearing a chefs hat
@TheWeirdWorld: How funny would it be if NASA discovered a sign on Mars that read, “Congratulations humans, level 1 completed!”