@Marlebean: It's like the only thing my kids learned from Snow White is that fruit is horribly poisonous.
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@Purpell_Nurpell: People are always telling me I look like Hagrid from Harry Potter. I've never seen the movies, but she must be a beautiful gal.
@LoveNLunchmeat: [Grand Canyon] *His screams echo as he falls to his death* OMG THE ACOUSTICS ARE AMAZING HERE! HOW IS THIS NOT A CONCERT VENUE?
@RickAaron: I had a fountain drink at the mall today. All those pennies make the water taste terrible.
@Reverend_Scott: Wife: "Notice anything?" Me: "Is it your hair, shoes, dress, eyelashes, mascara, lipstick, or nails?" Wife: "You forgot to wear pants."