@pancakemixtape: It's like these credit card companies don't even care that I'm an electric accordionist for South Dakota's finest heavy metal parody band.
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@gagging: If you think marijuana doesn't kill you've obviously never read the bible. People getting stoned to death left and right.
@FormerGrunt: When I die, just toss my body out of an airplane flying over NYC while wearing a superman costume.
@MUMSIEesq: ME: My husband says you use special traps that put the mice outside to play with their friends EXTERMINATOR [LOOKS AT HUSBAND]: umm, yeaahh