@pancakemixtape: It's like these credit card companies don't even care that I'm an electric accordionist for South Dakota's finest heavy metal parody band.
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@FeverFlave: *sticks a pencil in your ear and manually rewinds you back before you opened your mouth*
@jctwritesstuff: Why would I want to talk to your baby? On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that.
@IamEnidColeslaw: today I went for a run & a homeless guy was like WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM & I was like EVERYTHING