@KevinFarzad: It's nice to know that even people who are running for President are shitty at answering "What is your greatest weakness?"
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@nbadag: *at the pond* "hon—there's something i need to ask you" *emotional* yes? *blows duck call* *ducks on water arrange to spell out 'TACOS?'*
@Sarcasticsapien: I like how when you pull down on a paper towel dispenser you either get half a paper towel or half the roll.
@Carbosly: I love it when waiters tell me to tell them when to stop grating cheese on my meal. It's cheese, dude. We'll be here a while.
@iGreenMonk: Go to work tomorrow with a new attitude. Be positive! Communicate! Hide when real work comes!