@KevinFarzad: It's nice to know that even people who are running for President are shitty at answering "What is your greatest weakness?"
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@TheAlexNevil: Parenting Hack: slide a little cash your kid's teacher's way, & all of his crafts projects will "mysteriously" disappear after being graded.
@Vodkantots: Whoever said, "there's no place like home for the holidays" clearly hasn't been to my house.
@LostCatDog: He's dead, Jim. Bought the farm. Bit the pita. Shanked the llama. He's a shit piñata. He's gone elf. Dropped the fudgsicle. No more potatoes
@lordratsquirt: Recently I discovered when changing sex positions, it's better to make the Transformers sounds inside your head rather than vocalizing them.