@BareChesty: I just found out I passed my drug test.... Which means my dealer has some explaining to do.

@3sunzzz: Hi. This is my first time at yoga. When I called they said to bring a Matt. *points at man standing next to her* Now what do we do with him?

@DarkerWillow: So eBay takes 10% of your profits and Craig's List is 100% free, but with the chance of being murdered...such a dilemma

@simoncholland: *tries to wave goodbye to the genie without spilling my 3 giant milkshakes*

@matt___nelson: ME: time for sleep BRAIN: what if potatoes could talk ME: ugh BRAIN: and make friends with one another ME: please stop BRAIN: best spuds