@Izianikapani: It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
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@CatsVsHumanity: Weird old lady in the elevator complimented my thongs. I was disgusted. Hours later that I realized she was talking about my sandals.
@theshamingofjay: I just drank coffee I forgot on the counter this morning. It was so cold and bitter I wrote it an alimony check.
@kumailn: Just ate a glazed donut flavored protein bar. It tasted like someone describing a donut to me while I shove sawdust into my mouth.