@TheMichaelRock: It's not really a random act of kindness if you planned it, photographed it, and posted it to social media.
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@saucy_peaches: My mom always said that I'd never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her...
@batkaren: HER: What's your cell plan? ME: Bodily decay over decades until inevitable mortal collapse. You? HER: ... ME: ... HER: ... V-Verizon.
@shanethevein: Wait, there's a big difference. Did you say I look like THE Rock or did you say I look like A rock?