If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@NicestHippo: "It's now or nev—"
ME: Never. I choose never.
@mellimelle: The older I get, the more I realize nobody is better than I am.
Except people with statues of lions outside their house. They rule.
@jergarl: *takes ambien
You said NO ambien before dinner at your parents.
Me:*already getting naked* I'm sure it will be fine.
@E_lok44: If a little light yodeling doesn't solve all your problems, then I don't know what to tell yoooo-dooleeOoou.
@carlyken: My work day has been like the movie Sound of Music. But with less singing. And more Nazis.
@thesulk: "Wanna pop a xanax in the Civic and kayak with mom and dad at noon?" "Can't. Scared." "Of the water?" "No. Palindromes."