@ItsLaTourette: It's so unsettling meeting a baby with a grown man's name. No I don't want to hold Keith but can he look over my investment portfolio for me
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@sanjanaa: Dude yapping nonstop at the gym just said he works out in the afternoons to avoid people who talk. Is it okay to fling a dumbbell at him?
@LeaMehanna: I think my microwave's broken. I keep pressing the pizza button and no pizza is coming out
@ValeeGrrl: An enterprising divorce lawyer would set up a booth on a Sunday at a cut-your-own Christmas tree farm.
@AnkCoupleTO: Cute Internet Girl: This guy is pretty funny, I think I'll fol- Me: *Human Cannonballs my way into her living room* HELLO!