@TomSchally: It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats to see how they’ve been since last summer.
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@polksalad: Just found out my cat lied about being pregnant just to try and save our relationship and cover up for getting fat.
@weinerdog4life: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, except for bears, bears will kill you.
@torrami: Never let them see how much they hurt you. Or the gun. Definitely don't let them see the gun.