@TomSchally: It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats to see how they’ve been since last summer.
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@ShortWhiteNUgly: Me: I found a job! Mom: That's great! What is it? Me: debt collection! Mom:.... Me..... Mom:... Me: I think you know why I'm calling.
@Hector_Srsly: #WhenIWasYourAge getting pictures were at least a one hour ordeal that involved other people and a lab
@FattMernandez: Are there Jewish exorcisms? Where the demon comes out, and just tells you to call your mother?