@TomSchally: It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats to see how they’ve been since last summer.
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@drunkNnaughty: If you have to ask if it's too early to drink...you're an amateur & we can't be friends
@bonehugsnirony: Therapist: don’t take things personally Me: [literally a conscious being that experiences life from a first-person perspective] ok I’ll try
@pleatedjeans: me: can I buy you a drink? girl: sorry [holds up martini] already got one me: [spits in it] How about now?
@BlairLoudly: [end of interview] Any questions for me? Yes. Why didn't the glass slipper also disappear at midnight? YOU ARE SO HIRED.