@TomSchally: It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats to see how they’ve been since last summer.
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@lilgapeach30: Guys say "never trust something that bleeds seven days and doesn't die" as if something with two heads powered by one brain is trustworthy.
@MikeRevenaugh: Your boss will respect you more if you sometimes disagree, especially if you touch their face and say "You silly goose."
@justabloodygame: *appears in puff of smoke at a public pool* "Warning, what you're about to see may shock you!" Hey! What are y- *touches live wire to water*