@TomSchally: It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats to see how they’ve been since last summer.
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@Reverend_Scott: If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
@ScottLinnen: This club sucks & tell the DJ to lighten up on the Enigma. SON, YOU PASSED OUT. THIS IS A CATHEDRAL
@lovemydogduck: My Phone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" and I sent it anyways