@JarodNotJared: Its the little things that bring the most joy - Like sneaking a home pregnancy test in the shopping cart of a mom/daughter combo & observing
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@cowyfwame: I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
@JamesonN7: If my mother only knew the things I say on Twitter.......... I'd be sitting in the corner with a bar of soap in my mouth and grounded.
@WhiskeyandMeds: It's all fun and games until HR sends an email with "Your Twitter Account" in the subject line.
@bush_piglet: Murphy's Law - If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. Cole's Law - shredded cabbage in mayo