@JarodNotJared: Its the little things that bring the most joy - Like sneaking a home pregnancy test in the shopping cart of a mom/daughter combo & observing
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@goldengateblond: College graduates look awfully happy for people who’ll never have an entire summer off again.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: I can't finish my lunch. I don't feel good. Me: OK, then no ice cream. 5-year-old: I'm sick, not dead.
@ScreaminZeman: I hate you more than the guy that raised his hand after the teacher said we could all go early if there are no more questions.