@JarodNotJared: Its the little things that bring the most joy - Like sneaking a home pregnancy test in the shopping cart of a mom/daughter combo & observing
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@RamblingMachine: Too many TV ads about how you can remove blood stains off clothes with detergents & none about how you can hide the body? Where's the logic?
@chuuew: I'm not sure if this snake is trying to ask me a question or if he's just eaten a candy cane.
@FinnMcIver: I really hate it when people repeat something twice when making a point. don't do that guys, don't do that.
@ArfMeasures: [phone] WIFE: Where the hell are u? ME: Well u know that jewellers where u saw that ring u wanted? W: OMG M: I'm in a bar not far from there