@mellimelle: It's the year 2057, humans are shaped like candy canes from years of looking down at their phones. Striped-clothing is always in fashion.
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@daemonic3: 911: What's your emergency? "I put the Ford in affordable housing." 911: Are you flirting? "No I crashed into some apartments. SEND HELP"
@ticknada: Anyone that says I'm a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months
@MarcyLane: When buying baked goods I always ask myself, "are you prepared to eat this in the parking lot?"
@shariv67: They said I'd have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding my prince. I never found him, but I did find out I'm REALLY into frogs.