@gwatts77: It's too human to go outside.
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@zachheltzel: Yeah sex is cool but have you ever lied to an Uber driver about what you do for a living?
@Home_Halfway: INTERN 1: 6 in the Oval Office INTERN 2: 4 in the Roosevelt Room INTERN 3: 1 in the Lincoln Bedroom BIDEN: Okay, let's go catch some Pokemon
@robdelaney: My uncle was found dead in his office last night by cleaning staff. I'm glad because he wore Crocs to my wedding in 2006.
@AdamBroud: Me, having lobster for dinner: This is delicious LOBSTER: *wiping gravy off chin* Yes it is, thank you for inviting me