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@gwatts77: It's too human to go outside.
@meisology: 50 Shades of Letting People on the Train Know You're Not Getting Laid
@CYComedy: Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.
@JohnLyonTweets: There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.
@missekay: 'Two can play that game...'
-people who dont understand that's how games usually work
@mikeleffingwell: My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don't think she'd be a good secret agent.