@primawesome: It's uncool to be religious. It's uncool to be atheist. If someone asks what you believe in just say Beyoncé. It's the only way to be safe.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro.
@cbdoubleu: Not to brag, but I have the high score on 7 different blood pressure machines around the city. *enters initials
@dorsalstream: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Let he who is without stone come down to Steve's Stone Supply, Exit 13A off the NJ Turnpike.