@iRowlf: It's very rude to not refer to the manager at Burger King as "Your Majesty".
@GABBYdaAngSaya: Me: *eating a Mars bar*
Martian: Good grief where will I obtain alcohol now
@jctwritesstuff: Just realized that my spirit animal is Winnie the Pooh.
Two words: No pants.
@The_JRM: Automatic doors don't work when running full speed. I know that now.
@Brentweets: Each one of us has a secret. My secret is that I can't keep a secret. Also Jill is a lesbian.
@GUBLERNATION: accidentally stabbed a friend last night but a little later a different friend caught on fire and i put him out with my hand so i'm even