@SnellWarren: I've always sucked at math! How many people should there be in a relationship?
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@CulturedRuffian: * on a date snuggling * Me: Did you enjoy dinner? Her: Yeah, but now I feel fat. Me: Get your hands off my belly.
@zachreinert03: A friend asked if I thought there was alien life on other planets and I was like don't give up hope, there's someone out there for you
@myonlymizztake: T-Rex teen: Omg, that meteor is so bright, I'm literally dying! T-Rex mom: don't be so dramatic...