@IamEnidColeslaw: I've been a vegetarian for 13 years but if I ever got the chance I would absolutely 100% bite the head off the Geico gecko
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@Rollmaninoz: Me: Will my girlfriend be ok using Chanel 5 if she's never used Chanel 1-4 Salesgirl: *into walkie talkie* security he's back here again
@sageboggs: "Is that the guy who doesn't know how to use the word poignant?" Yea shhh he's coming over here THE GUY: hey guys! long time no poignant
@alexjmann: I'm going to need to see a warrant before you look through any pictures on my phone besides the one I show you.