@IamEnidColeslaw: I've been a vegetarian for 13 years but if I ever got the chance I would absolutely 100% bite the head off the Geico gecko
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@notfaizzy: ...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool.
@Donna_McCoy: Wish I had the unbridled enthusiasm of a freshly groomed dog heading straight for a mud puddle.
@ValeeGrrl: Me: Mistakes my own hair for a spider at least once a day & screams Also me: [watching Criminal Minds] I could totally be a cop