@tkhan74: I've been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mikecanrant: A guy with a locked account just asked me why I never retweet him. Stay in school kids.
@DannyZuker: "I did not expect to encounter so many snakes when I booked this flight!" #AwfulFirstDraftDialogue
@Thedudish: Last night, a cop pulled me over. "Out of the car!" he said. Then an Indian, fireman and construction worker appeared. We danced until dawn.