@tkhan74: I've been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name.
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@lisaxy424: My grandma got her bathroom redone with this sparkly gold-specked tile and she just called it her "golden shower" so goodnight.
@theshamingofjay: Sometimes I end up watching cartoons after my kids have left the room. On a related note, has anyone seen my kids?
@SteveSackington: If your mother in law and your father in law were both engulfed in flames, and you only had one fire extinguisher, where would you hide it?