@spcycucumber: I've been eating this memory foam for weeks now and I can't even remember why I'm still eating memory foam
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@Underchilde: They say they’re free weights, but the gym gets pissed if you put them in your car and leave.
@HatfieldAnne: Thank you Internet stranger for your honorable proposal of marriage. My folks are so excited. They're asking for Thanksgiving and Easter.
@vapidaccount: Dear ladies who wear black tights and red shoes: Please stop. Minnie Mouse is not a style icon for grown women. Love, M