@spcycucumber: I've been eating this memory foam for weeks now and I can't even remember why I'm still eating memory foam
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@drewjanda: Inventor of raisins: "What do you like about grapes" me: the juice part, the freshness Inventor: right but what if they had neither
@LuckoftheDraw86: I dropped my iPhone under the bed once so I get it, moms that lift cars off their babies, I get it.
@Vice_Queen: I accidentally just sent a kissy face emoji to my female boss... and now we wait for the call from HR on Monday.