@1Happytwit: I've been looking for the lid for this Tupperware container and somehow I'm now three weeks late for work.
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@kodeeezzzy: Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn't predator an alien too? They should've just called it "Some Aliens"
@ThisCantBRight: I don't condone workplace violence, until someone microwaves fish in the break room.
@Adam14: When people say "Let's not get off on the wrong foot here", I reply "Please don't get off on either of my feet".