@jrogasm: I've been on a diet for a month and I've lost exactly 4 weeks.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Wouldn't that be a cool twist if World War 3 turned out to be a U.S.-Russia thing after all? "So retro!", you'd think as you were vaporized.
@ShutUpThatsWho: ME: gimme a double BARMAN: [places an exact replica of me on the bar] ME: no I meant a double Scotch BARMAN: [puts a kilt on my replica]
@theyearofelan: Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside