@ozzie31220: I've been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don't know karate.
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@shutupmikeginn: While you guys were wasting your time talking about politics I got banned from the Yahoo Answers 'Horse' section
@DaddyJew: [getting dating advice from my dad] Just be yourself and don't do anything stupid "Well which one is it?"
@MarfSalvador: [Restaurant] Date: I like guys who plan ahead Me: Excuse me, waiter! *Leans in* Make sure my widow here is well looked after