@ozzie31220: I've been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don't know karate.
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@Sickayduh: DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now
@LoveNLunchmeat: Let's be honest, murdering someone before coffee would be pretty lackluster. I'd probably be too tired to even get the job done.
@AlexvanBeek: Played Monopoly with a kid & argued that I CAN buy the jail.. Teaching him a valuable lesson about the privitisation of the prison system.
@jakefromstfarm3: If you are farther than me in candy crush I will automatically think you are smarter than me.