@Pro_Jones_: I've been wearing the same clothes for almost 7 years now because a girl wrote "never change" in my middle school year book.
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@Brampersandon_: GUY (whose car died): can u help me? I need a jump ME (pulling a trampoline out of my trunk): im always prepared for emergencies like this
@sexypitabread: 2015:hey how's it going so far? 2016:uh good 15: 16: 15:you've got an armed mili- 16:we've got an armed militia in a wildlife building, yeah
@bourgeoisalien: I make all my clothing choices based on what I would look like if I'm unexpectedly asked to bounce on a trampoline at some point in the day.
@AmishPornStar1: Interviewer: Why should we hire you? Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison.