@Pro_Jones_: I've been wearing the same clothes for almost 7 years now because a girl wrote "never change" in my middle school year book.
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@LukeMones: This google docs thing is lame. Whatever happened to those viruses that turned your screen into a laughing skull & shut down the power grid?
@ibid78: [plumber] well here's your problem.. *keeps pulling tied handkerchiefs from toilet* [magician] it was like that when I bought the house
@garrettbarry70: [Christmas shopping] Me. "I need to get some wrapping paper, shall we split up?" Her. "Ok but I'm keeping the house"
@UncleBob56: What is it Lassie? Timmy fell down a well? Earthquake in LA? The Russians are coming? You found a plane? No? ...Oh, you want another beer.