@mrsmith196645: I've concluded English is my phone's second language. It's the only explanation for all the bizarre autocorrects and typos that plague me.
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@iGreenMonk: The only reason why i am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this huge personality.
@Ginlicker: Cops would catch more drunk drivers if they just stood outside with signs that say HONK IF YOU'RE WASTED!
@hipchkk: A decepticon is a just a cheeky emoticon at the end of a message intended to excuse the sender and confuse the recipient. Ex: Please die ;)
@thenatewolf: Netflix: we are the top online streaming service. Best in the world. Me: can I rewind 10 seconds without ruining everything? Netflix: no