@iAmDelFreaky: I've decided to shave off my eyebrows and draw them in. It's pretty cool, except when I have to redraw them to show somebody I'm angry.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [Bad magician coroner] is this your husband's body [widow] no [Bad magician coroner] isss this your husband's body
@envydatropic: My neighbors are having a terrible fight in the front yard. I mean hanging Christmas lights. Same.
@leshnevsky: 40 years later: - Grandpa, sing me a song of your youth. - Oppa Gangnam Style. Opp, opp, opp, opp!