@AbbyHasIssues: I've deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.
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@XplodingUnicorn: I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Then I saw her arguing with him about money. Now I see Santa drinking by himself.
@mattgallo123: Whenever I'm drinking gatorade and wearing gym clothes I wonder if people think I'm exercising or if they know I'm hungover on laundry day.
@marinarachael: I don't know why we have three different pig emojis but it's great for when you need to tell someone a pig is slowly approaching: 🐖 🐷 🐽