@CelebrityChez: I've found that it's almost impossible to explain to a stranger why you are following them around trying to put egg rolls in their pockets.
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@crabgirl_: *Date with a boy I dated when we went to kindergarden* *puts two big bowls of worms and mudwater on the table* Him-YUCK!!! Me-You've changed
@ShipInTheKnight: Twitter is like a conversation at the water cooler. If the water cooler was full of vodka. And you could smoke. And the boss was out of town
@sarcasticmommy4: I hate it when I'm on twitter & there isn't a car behind me to honk when the light is green.