@lloydrang: I've found that whenever God closes a door, Satan hands me a lockpick.
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@TheMichaelRock: If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.
@pleatedjeans: Instead of yelling "Hello?" when u think a murderer's in your home, say "Goodbye" Then if he's there he'll be like well OK guess I'm leaving