@lloydrang: I've found that whenever God closes a door, Satan hands me a lockpick.
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@KalvinMacleod: [driving test] INSTRUCTOR: Any initial concerns? ME: Volcanoes I: About the test? M: No I: Ok then let's go M: *drives into active volcano*
@WigCannon: What if the missing plane is still up there? "What?" Did you check the sky? "No." See, this is why you'll never advance, Kevin.
@Marlebean: They say a long, tight hug releases endorphins to make you feel calm and happy. I think the guy in front of me at this DMV would disagree.