@meganamram: I've got a "bun" (baby) in the "oven" (oven)
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@JPHaddadio: Last year I ate out alone on Valentine's Day. To avoid embarrassment, I yacked the whole time with a lovely couple the next table over.
@kalindi_rana: I can't feel my face when I'm with you, but I love it. Doctor: This is your third Botox appointment. That wasn't even funny the first time.
@Jeffwni: [job interview] Interviewer: It says here that you are a blowfish. Would you care to expand?