@Kyle_Lippert: I've had 3 Red Bulls today and now I can taste my heartbeat.
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@flashember: [Spain, 1578] "I'm not a witch!" But all the cats? "My pets!" The broom? "For cleaning!" The cauldron of boiling children? "Ok I'm a witch."
@maddyalou: Feeling sick at work. Subway to the bus-$5 Bus to commuter lot-$2 Puking in my car-$0 Guy in the car next to me puking in response-priceless
@Vodkantots: As a Jew, I refuse to enter any steam room or sauna until I've seen other people come out.
@Sam_From_Kansas: Alan from Facebook is concerned about "boarder" control and thinks they should "learn our langage"