@Smartassylassy: I've just accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles... My next shit could spell disaster!
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@murrman5: *put cooked chicken in oven* *offer to cook date dinner* *put raw chicken in oven* *immediately pull out cooked chicken* *keep eye contact*
@MelvinofYork: Hi, I want to get a tattoo to express my individuality. Do you mind if I look through this book of tattoos you've done for other people?
@BreadFoster: I "pet zone" girls. It's like the friend zone, but, I only hang out if your dog will be there.