@Smartassylassy: I've just accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles... My next shit could spell disaster!
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@noogscorner: I wonder if clouds look down on us and say shit like "That one's shaped like an idiot."
@Underchilde: My boss caught me sleeping on the job and told me to clean out my desk as if he didn’t just see how lazy I am.
@squirrel74wkgn: I'd love to go to the mall with you honey, but the court order says I can't come within 50 feet of any mannequins.