@TheAlexNevil: I've made friends on Twitter I never would've met in real life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything less than $200.
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@vexroid: Her: How in the world did we max out the credit card?? Me: Beats me *pushes $20K worth of Care Bears under the bed
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: Do you party? Me: Well I do schedule two nights a month that I stay up past 11pm. So yeah.
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Under special skills, you wrote "I ain't afraid of no ghosts" ME: *sweating profusely* Yeah why, do any ghosts work here?
@amishschool: My wife yelled, "This is the LAST TIME I'm going to tell you to take out the trash", and I thought, thank goodness THAT is finally over.