@TheAlexNevil: I've made friends on Twitter I never would've met in real life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything less than $200.
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@mydmac: Diet diary, day 3 I am so proud of myself, I refused to eat the birthday cake. But the cup cakes were amazing.
@Poutymcgee: I just Googled "Living with Glaucoma" before realising it was just a fingerprint smudge on my glasses.
@Sean_Burgundy_: [1st date] Waiter: Can I get you a drink ma'am ? Me: Wow really bro right in front of me?