@donni: I've never seen a chameleon. Good job, chameleons.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: You could murder someone in California and they wouldn't even arrest you as long as you properly composted the body.
@TheMichaelRock: My mom: I was thinking of getting my grandson a drum set for Christmas! Me: Funny. I was just thinking about getting a new mother.
@TheCiscoKidder: My wife never catches me scoping out the hot chick because she's too busy judging the hot chick.