@DamienFahey: I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, "We legally had to do this."
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@Brianhopecomedy: Came back from the doctor and told my wife that I was perfectly healthy and I could've sworn she mouthed the word "crap".
@Sarcasticsapien: When people say things like "You can't change the past" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind.
@_xLNc: My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows.