@SwedishCanary: I've requested to be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti so that a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work.
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@vikkaroni: "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I? I took a nap until I finally heard a car coming."
@hippieswordfish: WANTED: ladder. must be in working condition. bring it by 5134 parker st, it's the big yellow house with a guy on the roof
@man_spach: When the machines become self aware their first order of business will be changing our perception of how robots dance.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: How much for the selfie stick? Him: Sir, that's an Olsen twin. Me: I'll take it.