@SwedishCanary: I've requested to be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti so that a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work.
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@vonTraphaus: Mario Bros. Plumbing ★☆☆☆☆ (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfri.... (Read More)
@bornmiserable: [Snow White meets Seven Dwarfs] SNOW WHITE: Why is your name Bashful? BASHFUL: [recalling when he bashed in the 8th dwarf's skull] No reason
@jazmasta: There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.