@TheMichaelRock: I've seen enough episodes of "Cops" to know that you should avoid all people with blurry faces.
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@crushingbort: "Mr Bush, do you want my coke?" "Yeah sure" *Bush drinks coke as kid walks away* "Hey kid...catch" *kid turns around to see incoming plane*
@Sickayduh: "I'm going to the post office. I need a place stamp" Wtf is that? "I dunno but this envelope says I need one here"
@IamEnidColeslaw: If a tree falls in the woods can I stand under it so I don't have to go to work tomorrow?
@rockymomax: ME: someone stole my credit card number BANK: why would they spend $187 at a hot dog stand? ME: [hangs head in shame] that wasn't them