@TheMichaelRock: I've seen enough episodes of "Cops" to know that you should avoid all people with blurry faces.
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@dyldonot: [tv interview] I'm with Amy. Her house was damaged by the floods, how are you? [cut to Amy crying] MORE LIQUID IS THE LAST THING WE NEED AMY
@Sassafrantz: My whole life has felt like one big hammock and everybody is watching me try to get out of it.
@david8hughes: [the followin is based on a true story] *clips of me hittin my shin on my bed every nite for a year* Narrator: its like he forgets its there
@WaluigiLover: My aunt is trying to convince me that I'm gonna have kids. I named my kittens lunchbox and cocaine Steve. No one is gonna let me have a kid.