@TheMichaelRock: I've seen enough episodes of "Cops" to know that you should avoid all people with blurry faces.
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@MissNaughty1801: ...: who do you listen to more? Mummy or daddy? 5y: mummy ...: why? 5y: mummy talks more
@joci2203: "Mommy when I grow up, I want to be a shoe" -straight up killin' it at this parenting thing
@ArcaneAndAdrift: Police arrested 2 kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off
@direlog: i like how at the end of old movies it says ‘the end’ so you arent horrorstruck by the thought of a fictional universe persisting unobserved