@Phook75: I've spent the better part of my marriage battling to get these two strings inside my wife's shirt to actually stay on this hanger
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@CruisinSoozan: The dog almost ate the bird tonight. It was like a Dateline episode. "He kept to himself, but on the evening of June 6, he snapped."
@taxiderby: Verizon: we don't plan to murder anyone America: so it's ok if we keep murder illegal then Verizon: Verizon: no
@OwensDamien: ‘I murder drifters and use their hair to make little dolls. Oh, you meant at work! My biggest weakness is that I’m a perfectionist.’
@brunopieroni: How to stop Facebook Live and Marketplace notifications: 1) Open Facebook app 2) Go to Settings 3) Throw your phone into a river