@Phook75: I've spent the better part of my marriage battling to get these two strings inside my wife's shirt to actually stay on this hanger
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@Mikecanrant: The baby in the car next to me is either unable to control his arms or hes throwing me gang signs. Im not taking any chances. *locks doors*
@EndhooS: "But I can't conquer China, it's way too big..." Now Genghis, what do I always say? *Sighs* "I'm Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't"
@mjkspeaks: [girlfriend finally texts back] ME: i’m so mad at you. HER: i’m naked come over. ME: i’m not really mad i was jk lol omw babe