@Phook75: I've spent the better part of my marriage battling to get these two strings inside my wife's shirt to actually stay on this hanger
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@dsylixec: *pushes you to the couch and latches on* I'm a koala, and you're my eucalyptus tree. *pretends to eat your hair*
@TheHyyyype: ME: people only use 10% of their brains FRIEND: that's an urban legend ME: no it's not. my grandma told it to me, and she lives on a farm
@TheBoydP: [Carnac the Magnificent] Donald Trump Hannibal Lector Liver and fava beans *opens envelope* "Name a winner, a skinner, and a dinner"