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@Jam453Lane: They always say to follow your gut, that's why this is my 11th trip to the fridge for another beer.
@Darlainky: Dear Santa, Please send gift cards. Your taste has gotten significantly worse in recent years.
@Coolisiana: (Date) ME: Watch this *ties cherry stem with tongue* HER: *giggles* 1-UP WALLY: *places Rubik's cube in mouth and pulls it out solved*
@abbycohenwl: Guy: If u won lotto, what'd u get? Me: A cat sitter G: To take extra good care of Sox? M: *pictures a cat in a suit taking care of me* Yes