@neiltyson: Jan 21, 2015: The 1989 film “Back to the Future II” showed life on Oct 21, 2015. So we’ve got 9 Months to invent Flying Cars.
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@CorkyKneivel: If your girlfriend says "my pyramid is late..." Know two things: 1. Your hearing is poor 2. That's not your biggest problem right now
@too_chihuahua: Dad I'm gay *Dad rips newspaper* "WHAT" I like guys dad "Oh thank god. I thought you were happy for a second"