@WarrenHolstein: Janay Rice says the elevator attack was all part of God's plan. God must not like her very much.
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@TheFemKilljoy: The only time I hate being single is when I knock something over & catch it before it hits the ground but there's no one around to see it.
@daemonic3: Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
@Quartzjixler: Dancing Prime Minister Dancing Chancellor of the Exchequer Dancing Lord Privy Seal -ABBA explores dance vis-a-vis constitutional monarchies
@FinallyHeSleeps: Finding $5 you didn't know you had is awesome til you realize you're 34, it's 2011 & $5 won't even buy enough gas to drive you off a cliff.