@WarrenHolstein: Janay Rice says the elevator attack was all part of God's plan. God must not like her very much.
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@myles_morrison: I can tell everything I need to know about a person by how they cut their sandwich. Diagonal = normal Straight = serial killer No cut = dad
@Fred_Delicious: "Hey Barack" "yes Joe?" "I bet T-Rex's took terrible selfies" "Ok Joe" "Because they had..." "Short arms Joe, yes. I get it. I get it buddy"