@jimmy_sharpe: Jealous of how pineapples always have cool hair.
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@stevevsninjas: Astrogeologists: do telescope/remote sensing on distant objects. Astrologists: use horoscope/do not remotely make sense/object when dissed.
@Robert_Beau: CW: The boss said she wanted to see you. Me: That's flattering, but I don't date people from work.
@ArfMeasures: ME *enters new password* COMPUTER: Ok M: Aren't u going tell me it's too weak? C: I've seen your life & more criticism just seems unkind
@GrowlyGrego: *breaks into your house at night* *finds your bedroom* *blows on you til you wake up* HI I'M CHET CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A SECURITY SYSTEM?