@jimmy_sharpe: Jealous of how pineapples always have cool hair.
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@JWilsonGA: Just saw my wife's tampon string hanging out while she slept. Not sure, but I bet if I lit her fuse she'd explode bigger than any firework.
@Kim_pulsive: There is no way to differentiate between the screams you hear from mass murder, passengers on a plane going down and 5 Tweens seeing a bug
@rz0ndy: My daughter did a cart wheel and slammed her head right into the coffee table. That's all the DNA test I need.
@KissabiX: I visited you every day in hospital when you were in a coma. They gave me free wifi & coffee, It was the best 2 months of our married life