@TheDailyEdge: Jeb Bush: "The Pope should not discuss climate change because he's not a scientist, although if elected, I will be your wife's gynecologist"
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@Johngcole: Scientist: The eclipse will be just like this... People: Wow, you were right. Scientist: Now about climate change People: Shut up egghead
@Cheeseboy22: We can't afford to take our kids to a corn maze this year so we're just going to take them to an IKEA instead.
@_sleepysmile: Him: My voice is a little hoarse. Me: You have a pony?! Him: ... Me: ... Him: ... Me: I wish I had a pony. *pouts*